We can often get very caught up in how other people see us, or how they react to us. We see their response to us as an indication of how WE are, rather than an opinion that THEY have (which may, or may not, be true.) If you use other people’s moods, opinions, actions or behaviours to determine how you see yourself, and subsequently feel, then you’ve an exhausting journey ahead of you! Why?
- We can’t control others, only ourselves.
- How others think, act, behave, is a reflection on THEM, not us.
- Self Esteem & Self Confidence are about…..? Others? The clue is in the wording – it’s about SELF. How we regard, treat, talk to, ourselves plays a huge role in how we see ourselves. A million people can tell you you’re great / look well / doing well, but that won’t matter if YOU don’t feel / see / believe it. Looking outside yourself, to feel good about yourself, is called ‘External Validation”. It can work at times but often will leave you feeling uncertain & anxious – cos let’s face it, any external factor can change at any time. Head-wrecking.
Feeling good about yourself because YOU decided you’re good enough, a decent person, doing your very best, is called ‘Internal Validation’ & is key to esteem & confidence. (And VERY unIrish!)
Try being in your own corner.
Try giving yourself a pat on the back when you do good.
Be your own #1 supporter (warts n all – not perfection remember!) & see how it feels 😊